Koekoe

Let it snow and let us rejoice

jwkuo87 — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 23:42:14 +0000

So there was a snow storm.. Everything was covered in snow to the extent that roads couldn’t be distinguished from roads. I saw a lot of people playing outside. It felt like there couldn’t be a more harmonous world, with everyone just getting along and having fun. It’s good to know that even the oldest, most mature people can still enjoy playing with snow. There’s still a little kid in every one of us. I’m glad. It should snow more often :)

Learn from your mistakes

jwkuo87 — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 23:13:05 +0000

They say you have to learn from your mistakes. Isn’t it much easier if you could learn from other people’s mistakes? It saves you the humility. But seriously though, I’ve learnt so many things from people who’ve done things the wrong way. I’ve learnt to be quiet from the loud and talkative, to be generous from the greedy, to be loving from the hating. But I’ve never thanked those people. So here’s to you loud, greedy, hateful son of a bitches: Thank you very much.

The one with the retaliation

jwkuo87 — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:00:02 +0000

Friendship should be about giving and receiving. Let’s be honest, even though some of us try to balance those two, it’s never really even. Too often do I see people act in a more reactive way whereas it should be pro-active. Inviting someone for your birthday? But that person didn’t invite me to theirs.. Sending someone a holiday card? But they wouldn’t send me one so why should I bother? What’s with the retaliaton?

Look, you should be grateful to have friends, so try not to ruin it by getting upset over these little things. We should all try to be the bigger person. I won’t lie, I know sometimes I can be a prick too, but more often than not, I am trying to be the bigger person. Who cares if a friend of yours didn’t invite you to their birthday bash. Maybe it was a small gathering with just family, maybe they wanted to avoid certain awkward collisions. Maybe it’s just because they didn’t have enough cash to invite more people like you. But why should you get all angry and upset over it? What’s the big deal? Let’s not retaliate but be friends unconditionally instead. Aight?

A pretentious snob

jwkuo87 — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 22:02:00 +0000

If you give me a bottle of wine, no matter how low budget it is, I always follow the protocol, having a whiff of the cork, pouring a little in my glass, swirling it, checking the colour, smelling it, tasting it and try to describe it as precisely as possible like the pretentious snob I am. And instead of the “nicely structured, full bodied, textures of spices with a hint of cherries” real oenophiles would say, I usually just go like: I love it/I hate it. Not always do I get why certain things have to be done prior to drinking the wine. Cause frankly, I don’t think I’d taste the difference between a wine that’s been stored horizontally and one that has been stored at an angle.

Even though I don’t always comprehend etiquette, I still enjoy abiding by those unwritten rules, merely because they’re rules. And you know me, OCD.. can’t help but do things EXACTLY as they ought to be done. Same goes for coffee. You won’t see me enjoying a Caffè Americano because it’s not what the Italian drink. You won’t see me enjoying an espresso either if it wasn’t brewed under pressure of ~8 bar, with water temperature of ~95 centigrades, and a ~7g grind that’ll result in a ~30 mL brew being set in ~25 seconds, preferably with beans that do not solely consist of Arabica beans but Robusta beans as well. Like I said.. a pretentious snob.. Will I taste the difference if you brewed it with 9g and 6 bar? Probably not.

I won’t enjoy food made by non-native people either. Sushi made by Frenchmen, Wonton soup made by Mexicans, falafel made by Vietnamese people.. It just sounds off, doesn’t matter how good they might be. I’m afraid some will never understand the full concept of their cuisine. Take sushi for instance. If it’s made by Chinese, you’ll get pre-prepared sushi because with Chinese people, it’s all about fast fast fast. With the French, you’ll get a tiny selection of sushi rolls, laid beautifully on an oversized plate, which’ll neither satisfy your stomach nor your wallet. Some things shouldn’t be messed with. I’m all for change and everything, just don’t rape the original concepts. If you wanna create a whole new kind of sushi, don’t call it sushi, cause it’s not sushi if the Japanese didn’t invent them first.

Let’s catch up

jwkuo87 — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:34:20 +0000

So, let’s update. Since October, here’s what happened in a nut shell. I bought a snake, created and celebrated Thanksween (that’s what you get when turkeys mate with pumpkins), went to a Korean restaurant, went to a birthday bash, went to a Korean restaurant, went to a Chinese restaurant, went to a Japanese restaurant, went to an Argentinian restaurant and went to another birthday bash. That’s one and a half month of my life in a nut shell and not once did I mention anything about school. Was it because it wasn’t relevant enough? No I just didn’t go.

If you care at all about the things I’ve just mentioned, by all means, read on.

So, yeah.. I bought a snake. I’ve compiled a list of 6 things I have to do:
1. buy a snake
2. skydive
3. trip to a country I haven’t yet been to
4. fly a helicopter
5. improve driving skills (drifting course)
6. volunteer work (anything with kids)

One of those 6 had to be done before 2010, so I got a dice and threw a 1. Hence, the snake. I named him/her Q. It’s still a baby snake and the reason why I’m still unaware of its sex, is because it’s still unknown. For me to find out would mean to wait about 2 years, let this ‘animal-expert’ poke something up his/her ass and if it goes in very deep, it’s a male. If it doesn’t, it’s a female. You’d think it would be the other way around, but maybe that’s just me. At this moment, I’m even wondering if the sales clerk was talking about sex the gender or intercourse.. Either way, I plan to spare my snake the horrifying idea of having something up his/her ass. Anyway, having a snake is awesome. The way Q drinks water, eats baby mice, the way my terrarium looks. And it’s way more convenient than any other animal, since I could easily just ignore him/her for like a week.

Yeah well, regarding thanksween. We were too lazy (and greedy) to be celebrating both Halloween and Thanksgiving so instead we had Thanksween, which means costumes and an eerie environment accompanied with the festive dishes of Thanksgiving. It’s quite practical to combine two holidays. Maybe instead of New Year’s Eve and Christmas, we oughta be celebrating New Christmas instead. Giving presents, the christmas tree, the lights, the closeness combined with fireworks and drinking! Something to think about..

Anti-medicines

jwkuo87 — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:19:27 +0000

Well.. I’m finally recuperating. I’ve been ill for a few days since Sunday. I woke up at noon and I began to throw up intermittently in intervals of 20 minutes. Food poisoning? Not possible.. stuff I had the day before was eaten by at least a dozen other people who had no symptoms whatsoever. Alcohol maybe? That could be a reason. Since the birthday gals knew johnny walker black label would be drunk a lot by us, she stocked up on those and probably got them rather cheap.. the kind of cheap that would raise suspicion. We all drank from it and we seemed to be hitting our limits a lot faster than usual, throwing up earlier than we were normally used to. Or could it be the party the day before the birthday bash? Maybe there was a terminal guy who infected us all that night.

It doesn’t really matter in hindsight.. I’m getting better as we speak (finally) and I’m just glad I’m not puking water anymore (it was yellowish.. GROSS). People kept saying I should go to the doctor. But that’s sounded too wussy so obviously I didn’t go. Others kept saying “take some drugs!” and I was like “ooh that’s a brilliant idea!”, but then I found out they weren’t talking about the narcotics kind.. No but you know.. I don’t take drugs. I don’t swallow pills of any kind. It’s against my principles. I’m more the kind of guy who leaves things up to my immune system. It’s good training, it’s like a vaccin. Only this time the things inside of me aren’t so benign. Nonetheless, it makes perfect sense. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Hell, maybe medicines aren’t even that good for you to begin with. What if there’s this one corrupt company who produces all the drugs and purposely try to get people hooked on their stuff, by adding some secret shit that kills a part of your immune system so you’ll HAVE to use their drugs to get better?

Maybe I’m a little paranoid, whatever. I’m just glad that whenever I get sick, I don’t have to get a freaking doctor’s note to stand in line at the pharmacy to get some bad tasting white pills that won’t benefit me even in the short term. It’s survival of the fittest and I’m gonna try to be as fit as possible all by myself! I’m gonna make it.. ON MY OWN!

I’m flattered, but..

jwkuo87 — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:51:29 +0000

Strange things have been happening lately.. or actually, about a month ago, but I was way too swamped to be blogging about it. So it was mid August and I had to work pretty much full-time because my siblings were chilling in Spain and so was my dad. By the time my dad came back, my mum went to China for a reunion with her high school classmates. 3 weeks did I have to work my ass off during the holidays!

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about, it was about these strange things right? So I noticed I’ve been getting a lot of attention (or so it seems), but.. not from girls.. When I was working those 3 weeks, this guy came pretty much every day for take away, when usually he would just come bi-weekly. At Ikea’s too! I was just minding my own business, having dunch/linner when this guy sat down two tables over. When he sat down, we faced the same direction, but just before he did, he looked (or actually stared) at me for a few seconds and then smiled. Mind you, he wasn’t laughing at me, it was a polite yet flirty smile. When he sat down, he turned around to take another good look. Apparently one good look at me wasn’t satisfactory (a part of me wants to say BOOYEAH right now). Then his lady friend joined him at his table. I see them exchanging some words and then SHE TOO starts looking at me and smiles at me. For a minute there, I was like.. no, there must be someone sitting behind me. That didn’t seem to be the case though. Just to be sure, when I left, I told my friend that they’ve been looking and that she should keep an eye on them while I walk away.. Just to be sure they were looking at me and not her. And yup, she confirmed the fact it was me.

Now I don’t mind being looked at. Hell, I encourage it! Hehe, but seriously? Guys? Am I sending some kind of gay vibe? Cause let me get this gay.. er, I mean straight! I’m straight!

I love you (but not really)

jwkuo87 — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 04:21:05 +0000

Remember my previous post? Yeah, I can’t seem to get so mad at someone that I feel like having a fierce argument with them.. Apparently, this goes for affection as well.

I’m a hopeless romantic. In case you’re familiar with “How I Met Your Mother”, I’m definitely a Ted. I’m crazy about taking a girl out for dinner, lie under the stars and gaze for falling stars or just lie next to them feeling her breath and subconsciously breathing in sync with her just so I won’t disturb her while she’s sleeping. But I lack the emotions to make the scenery a movie-like one. Despite my desire of wanting to be all that, all the cheesy stuff, the sleepless nights and my butterflies having butterflies themselves, I can’t seem to get there.

Maybe it’s a matter of finding the right girl, maybe it’s a matter of time.. to be honest though, I’m starting to get a little impatient of having to wait. Maybe it’s because I’m too rational and calm to have those feelings or might it be because I’m trying to protect myself from the vulnerability?

Regardless, I feel like I’m condemned, with my soft, mushy heart trying to pound its way out of its current stone exterior. I’m optimistic though.. one of these days, it’ll shatter right through it, with the help of someone else’s soft and mushy heart.

Bow wow wow

jwkuo87 — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:35:27 +0000

It’s like 30 degrees (that’s about 90 degrees for you non-metric people :P) and I’ve had urges to refurbish everything.. for online banking, I’ve got this device to input numbers so I get a validation code. Problem with it, is that it runs on batteries and they were totally used up about 2 weeks ago. So.. I’ve cut a USB-cable and soldered it onto the device.. and it works! God I feel sexy! Am I a geek or what?!

I also wanted to make myself a new desk, but didn’t feel like buying a lot of stuff. So I made one out of a door that’s been lying around for ages. I bought some black paint to go with it, but all of a sudden, I started to get the hang of painting.. so I painted my bed as well and some doors as well.. Totally awesome! You gotta love black!

On a different note, little over a week ago I had about 1 hour of sleep and had to work immediately after waking up for 12 hours straight (7 hours as a sales clerk and 5 hours waitering). After that there was a birthday bash I had to attend, but boy, was I tired! This is the result of me, a fatboy and a chain made from a gazillion key chains (and some annoying people who treated me like a dog). Don’t watch it unless you REALLY have nothing else to do, like me. I’m even gonna show you HOW little I have to do these days.. I’m gonna give you the full transcript of the next video.

[0:00-1:00]
j: cookie
h: your other paw
j: COOKIE!
h: SIT!
s: good doggy
h: good doggy
h: how come your head is so flat?!
c: s, give it a good pull! make him stand up
s: get up, now!
s: get up!
h: SIT!
c: j, j, play dead! good boy! j, j, j! stay dead!
h: cookie?
h: SIT!
s: wait I’m gonna give him a cookie, cause I’m so sweet like that. Or do you think he’d rather have meat instead?
j: wait a minute, so… why do I have this chain?!
s: look!
j: that’s not a cookie
h: dogs like meat
s: yeah, dogs like meat!
c: if you eat it, you’re submitting to them
s: come on, doggies like it

[1:00-2:00]
s: AAH HE’S BITING ME
h: quick, go to the hospital, go to the hospital
s: AAAH!
s: …
s: it doesn’t even really hurt..
c: he’s not using his teeth
s: yes he is
s: ew! gross
s: here, doggy.. eat!
j: I don’t wanna eat
j: wow, what’s up with the agressiveness
c: you know, the chain actually looks rather sexy on you
c: very burlesque
j: I know, I make everything look sexy
h: “I make everything look sexy”, haha
s: EAT! EAT!
h: I think that chicken wing has been on the floor but whatever..
j: why are you doing this?
j: let me see your hand!
c: symmetry, it’s necessary
j: yeah cause else the world would fall apart
c: indeed
s: why is it necessary?
j: SYMMETRY!
c: SYMMETRY!
j: it means…
s: I KNOW WHAT CEMETERY MEANS.. it’s…
c: minus one!
j: yeah
s: no, cemetery is…
s: …

[2:00-3:00]
j: contitent
c: CONTITENT!
s: I hate you!
j: I know, I know damn well you hate me
h: S&M, S&M!
h: you’ll be parading around with a mark of that bitchslap on your face
c: I’m telling you guys, this is YouTube worthy
s: doggy, doggy, here you go
h: don’t eat it, don’t eat it
h: s, just slap his face
s: good boy
s: let’s go, I’m gonna walk you
c: s, you know what you should do? you should grab his iPhone, throw it away and say “fetch”. He’s definitely gonna fetch it. It’s his iPhone.. it’s sacred!
j: …
j: she should grab my WHAT?!
c: your iPhone!
j: nooo!
c: it took him that long to catch on to that one
j: my left pocket, my left pocket
s: fuck you and your left pocket
j: my back pocket, my back pocket

[3:00-4:00]
c: j, is that an iphone in your pocket or are you just happy to see her?
j: I don’t know what your dick looks like.. dude!
c: but it’s about width!
s: good doggy
h: what kind of a lame ass dog eats cucumbers?!
c: what kind of a dog deepthroats cucumbers?!
s: but you don’t have any cookies
h: yes I do, upper right cupboard
s: Pringles?!
h: yeah
c: j, you’re getting fed again, but this time under compromising circumstances
c: s, do you know what compromising means?
s: no
c: okay
h: what a lame ass dog
s: right?!
h: you feed him, but there’s nothing in return
c: s, try to make him do tricks
h: yeah
s: come on
g: somersault!
h: yeah a somersault!

[4:00-5:00]
j: what kind of dog does somersaults?!
c: he’s got a point
g: no seriously some dogs jump and do somersaults
j: I think you’re confused with the toy
c: the forest lady behind the desk. seriously, all I can see is your head.
h: omg he’s getting up he’s getting up *makes weird sound*
s: get up
h: good boy
j: can I hump your leg like a dog, too?
s: okay! do it! I DARE YOU!
c: this I gotta see! this I gotta see!
s: DO IT!
j: i’m not seriously gonna hump your leg, come on!
h: do it, do it!
s: get up, I already told you several times, get up!
j: couldn’t you just give me your feet so I can hump it whilst lying?
s: no way, get up!
c: hey j, when you’re humping her leg, don’t forget to close your eyes, cause she’s that ugly
j: but dogs never close their eyes when humping legs

[5:00-6:00]
c: aren’t you familiar with that expression?
c: so glad that isn’t on camera
s: get up! get up! get up!
h: your dog sucks!
s: wait, i’ll lift him up
j: do I look like… wait, where are you gonna upload that video to?!
s: yes you look just like..
c: what?
j: do I look like jason?!
c: if you were still wondering what below the belt means, that was it
s: get up!
h: who’s calling at this hour?
h: it’s Jimmy..
h (phone): Hello?
j: WOW! so this is what i’ve been wearing all this time

[6:00-7:00]
s: yeah, what did you think?!
j: that’s hot
s: doggy, get up
h: j, did you get here by car?
j: yes I did
c: s, you should get on top of him and ride him while holding on to that chain of his
h (phone): yes he did, why?
c: right, now grind it
j: why? who’s asking?
s: j, are you getting up?
j: no
s: why not?
h (phone): where are you right now?
j: just because
s: you have to be a good doggy
h (phone): ow okay, so what now?
s: what are you taping?!
c: you two!
h: does anyone.. wait.. j, do you have booster cables?
j: no
h (phone): owwww he doesn’t have one
j: I could go to the nearest petrol station
j: wait, who is it?
h: Niels
h (phone): you can’t drive, right?
h: he can’t turn on his engine, so he can’t go to the petrol station

[7:00-8:00]
g: PUSH IT, PUSH IT!!
j: no I said I could go to the neareast petrol station
h: ow ok, that’s possible I guess
j: where’s he at?
h: where does Jimmy live again?

So after that, I finally got up to start a friend’s engine. Even tired and at 4AM am I prepared to get out to help people in need.. ain’t that something.. anyway, I think it’s apparent that I’m bored outta my mind right now.. If you’ve actually seen the entire video and/or read everything, you’re probably as bored as I am! Join the club :P

I hate you (but not really)

jwkuo87 — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:49:43 +0000

I’ve always wanted a good fight. Just for the fun of it. It seems so natural to have a fight once in a while. But I guess I’ve always suppressed my anger. Not once was I so angry at someone that I started throwing things at them or getting things thrown at me for being a huge dick (mind you, I said being a huge dick, not having). The closest I ever got to a rage, was when my dad pissed me off over the phone. At the time, I was in my own room. I grabbed my keys and threw them against the wall, but since my walls are soft, my keys almost went right through the wall. I looked at it, at my keys, hanging in there and immediately started smiling after that. Altogether, that wasn’t even 10 seconds.

I guess it’s my soft character that’s keeping my anger from coming out. Whenever someone gets too pissed off or sad or just not happy in general I tend to give them attention. Be nice, be sweet, be considerate or apologize, even if I’m not sorry at all or worse.. have no fucking clue what the hell I should be sorry about in the first place. But that’s okay, one of these days I’m gonna be an ass, treat them badly so I can finally have a big ridiculously useless fight and have dishware thrown at my face.

Mind you, the latter is NOT an invitation to randomly throw a plate at me.